Thursday, December 25, 2008

A Running Commentary on "It's a Wonderful Life."

Notes on Watching It’s a Wonderful Life.”

I’m watching It’s A Wonderful Life and I realized that I did in fact work for a building and loan corporation and that perhaps the field of work was not actually evil. This movie makes me really happy. “I don’t want Mrs. Bailey, I want my wife. Wait, that is my wife.” I love old movies because they’re the only ones that introduce us to the main characters without having to give us their internal monologue or slap us in the face with their characters. We begin as strangers and stay that way for a while. I like that in a movie.
No, don’t do it, George! Don’t accept Potter’s offer! He’s evil!

Oh, good. He realized it when he shook his hand. “You’re nothing but a scurvy little spider!”

You want the moon? I’ll throw a lasso around it and pull it down for you.

Oh, Uncle Billy, you are a silly, silly man!

George, you, however, are an angry man. You lash out when you are stressed. I think you need some sort of anger management. Maybe you should do some yoga.

“I’m not sleepy. I want to look at my flower.”

Oh, no! George, you are so sad. Noooooo! Don’t jump off that bridge. Goddamit! Commercial break.

Oh, how I love Canadian TV. They have the “Doncha put it in your mouth” commercial. Wow. That’s the most horrifying looking lion that I’ve ever seen:

I’m here to introduce the Lee Majors Bionic Hearing Aid. That’s so depressing. Dear Lord. He’s so old. WHY IS THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN ON AN INFOMERCIAL? This is so upsetting. Commercial break, obviously.

“We don’t need any characters around to give the joint atmosphere.”

“Every time you hear a bell ring it means that some angel’s just got his wings.”

I missed the first half hour of the movie. What? The old man was going to poison a child? Why?

Oh, no! Now that he wasn’t born, the town has turned into a den of sin! Why doesn’t it snow anymore?

Oh good, everything is saved. And now I’m crying. This is beautiful. What a wonderful film.

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